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Keith Barney
Keith Barney is a father and husband in the Barney family. He is married to Julia Barney, who was formally Julia Springer. His children consist of Harry Barney, and Savannah Barney. Biography Early Years Keith was born inside a random farm on Febuary 19th, 1973. From his point of view, his parents constantly neglected him and never had time to be with him. Around the age of 6, Keith claimed he had a dog by the name of Oswald. However, speculations lead to believe the dog is fake and a figment of his imagination. Keith's childhood was rough for him as he was constantly bullied and allowed to drink. Teenage Years When he was 15, Keith (illegally) got his first car, which was a hand-me-down from his recently deceased grandpa. The car would break the moment he took it on the road. While waiting on his car to be fixed, Keith came across his soon-to-be wife, Julia Springer. Julia recalls it being love at first sight for the two. They quickly went on a date days later. Following the date, at the age of 15, Keith had sex for the first time (Julia has said Keith wasn't her first, but she hasn't revealed who, or when). Upon having sex for the first time, Keith actually got Julia pregnant. The two decide to go through and have the child. Birth of Savannah Barney At the age of 15, Keith and Julia became father and mother to their first child, Savannah Barney-Springer. Keith would drop out of high-school (freshman year) to give up his whole day to watch the baby, he has also claimed it was to get out of school. Julia, still focusing on her education, left Savannah with Keith all day. This has proven to have some effect on Savannah. Keith and Julia would be 19, with one child, going into college. College Years The two both decided to attend Freeport State University. Julia was accepted very quickly into the university, while Keith was declined. It is said Julia snuck Keith into the university every day, so it wasn't important he was declined. The two would leave Savannah in the dorm with a caregiver all day, while they (or probably just Julia) try to give their child a good life. Keith would only do two years of college, and illegally making his diploma, while Julia would stay for a full four years. After Dropping out of College Keith would accidentally get Julia pregnant again, conceiving their third child, Harry Barney. Julia chose to keep going on with school, while pregnant. Keith however, would stay at home with Savannah, paying no attention to her as he illegally drinks beer and watches porno. Birth of Harry Barney At the ages of 22, Keith and Julia would give birth to Harry Barney-Springer. This was another child for Keith to watch over back at home while he watched porn. Savannah (7) would slowy grow jealous of the attention Harry was receiving, but it didn't even cross their father, Keith's, mind. Wedding Keith and Julia would fly out to Las Vegas with their two-year old (Harry) and nine-year old (Savannah). They would get married in less than 20 minutes, after waiting in a two hour line. The wedding wasn't much, since Julia had just graduated and Keith had been doing nothing for the last nine years. Moving to Freeport Keith and his family moved to Freeport to settle down with his new family. Keith chose to purchase a house right by the Freeport nuclear plant. Buying this house ended up being an awful idea, because the radiation sped up Harry's growing by advancing him to be almost 12 or 13. The family quickly moved to a house far from the nuclear plant. The 10 Cents Cheaper Universe In the Season 1 episode, Keith's Guide to the Galaxy, Keith goes on a relaxing space vacation. This vacation however is quickly interrupted when a asteroid belt diverts his course. Instead, he falls into a wormhole. Keith does not notice anything different on the other side of the wormhole, so he returns home. Everything seems normal, and there doesn't look to be damage. That is, until Keith decides to go out for a coffee with Julia. Keith is very confused however when the price of a cup is 89 cents. Keith later goes shopping to find everything is ten cents cheaper. Keith has told himself to believe that he is in a universe where everything is ten cents cheaper. Drag Racing Over Family During the Season 3 premiere, Keith tells Julia he would rather become a drag racer than have sex with her. Keith would regret this decision later in the episode, however, when he finds out Julia went to a sperm donor to conceive another child. The Future Keith and the family make a trip to the year 3005 after his son, Harry, discovers a time machine hidden underneath the basement. After spending some time in the future, everyone except Keith decides they want to go home. Keith describes his life in 2005 "nothing but a wreck" and everyone here treats Keith normally, and he is accepted. After a tough ultimatum, Keith chose to go home with Julia, over the future. Birth of Dylan Barney After being pregnant all of Season 3, Julia would give birth to Dylan Barney, and Keith would become a father to another child in It's a Boy! , the series finale. Marital Problems Julia would divorce Keith in It's Complicated. Keith describes the divorce shocking, saying "..we're a TV family and that sort of thing don't happen, ya know?" in the Season 5 premiere, Still Divorced. The two would stay divorced for about half the season. Earning his Woman Back Julia falls for Keith after he made the decision to save her and not a complete series collection of Star Trek. The two would remarry, only this time at a real wedding, in Remarriage is a Bitch. Keith's relationship would go normally with his wife would go normally from there. The Adventures of Drunk Man In the Season 6 premiere, Keith would become a very popular action movie star and get the lead role in "The Adventures of Drunk Man". The movie circled around a man who gets his powers from booze. Keith, however, was quickly put to shame when the movie performed awfully in reviews, and in the box office. Jack Dawson Relationship Keith would become very good friends with the fictional Titanic star, Jack Dawson, after thawing him out when found at the bottom of the Atlantic. Jack would eventually kill himself, after not fitting in. Professional Hockey Career After beating the Freeport State hockey team all by himself, Keith gets a word on the professional level and becomes a professional hockey player for a brief moment of time. Breaking the Fourth Wall? Keith takes Mean Streets off the air after he learns he is no longer allowed to swear. The network executives wouldn't allow this, and he would be quickly stopped. Photography Career Keith briefly became a professional photographer, because he was curious of his sexuality. He finds interest in taking pictures of his wife's boobs, so he decides he's straight. Keith's Kult For a short period of time, Keith was the leader of a Satan-worshiping kult, which was quickly dismantled by president Barrack Obama. When are the Blacks? Keith traveled through time to an era where the entire earth is dominated by the black population, in search of a black friend. He returned with an Asian person, as he described "..the best I can do." Heart Attacks and Seizures Keith had an almost fatal heart attack after entering a Hot Dog Eating Contest and eating over 200 hot dogs. He was hospitalized immediately. Following the heart attack, Keith experienced frequent seizures that he couldn't put an end to. Keith's Barn Keith currently owns a chain of fried-chicken restaurants. From character dialogue, it is said that there are restaurants in over 50 countries. Car Accident Keith died in the series finale, ''Harry Take the Wheel. ''His son, Harry, ran him over after recently getting his drivers license. Behind the scenes * Keith shares the same birthday as show creator, Connor Nimmons. * Keith's dog from his childhood was named after Ozzie, a dog Connor Nimmons had as a kid. | |[[Category:Characters]]||}}